This is part two of the case study I entitled Choosing Pain and Betrayal.This reveals of many of the underlying principles of what FICAM teaches for use in healing, coaching and therapy.
An important key in understanding how the mind works is, you are never upset for the reason you think. Never! NEVER EVER!! A person choosing the ego mind to look at things ALWAYS chooses a wrong target as the cause of its upset. It always chooses someone or something that has failed to satisfy a wish or desire of what they believe is supposed to or desired to happen. ALWAYS!
Trish tried to make her upset all about the misrepresentations her new husband made to her and was quite startled when I turned things around and asked “Have you ever done anything similar yourself?” Her eyes went ablaze with righteous indignation for a moment as if I was ignoring all the horrible actions her husband took and somehow she was responsible for. This I assured her was not my intent. “You ARE responsible for your response to this situation and for the decisions you made for marrying him to fulfill your fantasy of finally being good enough to be married and to “prove” this first to yourself and then to your family and friends. This is the essence of a ego directed special relationship and what “special” love is all about. You are reeled in by your intense wishes and desires that place you in a trance state of wish fulfillment. You become blinded with the belief you have finally realized your dream and ignore all the handwriting on the wall that the person isn’t who you imagine them to be.”
As we spoke more I began to see Trish starting to connect to the knowledge I was sharing with her. Slowly the light in her eyes began to return and her victim embodiment began to become more empowered. “I think I am beginning to get what you are saying. I should have realized immediately things weren’t right with him when I had to pick up at the jailhouse on our first date. I tried to convince myself his drinking and odd behaviors was nothing serious and would get better once he had be in his life. OMG that was nuts wasn’t it. I so wanted to end the pain I felt all these years believing I was unlovable and I’d always be alone I ignore the message life was sending me and denied the facts that were before me”
This was the beginning of a major insight to ongoing pattern of relationships and opened the door to the much bigger issue of all the times in her life. She did the same things to her boyfriends, lying,cheating and taking advantage of them financially when possible. This brought to the forefront piles of guilt and shame that she held inside and projected on her husband. She successfully had sabotaged her relationship long before she found out about all his cheating and lies. Now forgiveness could go much deeper and forgive herself to help break the pattern she had been stuck in.
Yet this to was not enough to heal and make the necessary corrections even after going through each relationship in her life and owning and forgiving the mistakes she had continually made. Correction and true healing from the Quantum Embodiment perspective I teach at FICAM is NOT about mowing the weeds so the garden looks better for a short while. Our therapeutic goal is always to reach down and pull the roots out so this thinking will not sprout again. This means reaching even further within to uncover the reason why she decided to use the strategies she had that brought her into this relationship and kept her trapped in it.
This I will share in the the final part 3blog â€œWounds and Scarsâ€ as Trish uncovers how and why she had always cheated on her boyfriends and sabotaged them despite feeling miserable and enraged at her partner.